I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
