Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
