she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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