I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
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My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
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You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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