Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
