i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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