i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
