So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
