he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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