Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
