where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize