I love black thongs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
