i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
