I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
