Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
