That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
