..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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