i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
