College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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