it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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