sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
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I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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