..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
