and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They took my balls.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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