We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
