does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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