I just cut my nipple shaving
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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