And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
