the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
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Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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