The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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