apparently the secret to your success is patron
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
