it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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