stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
