Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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