And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
