I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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