Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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