but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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