A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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