so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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