You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
