We need to rekindle our bromance
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
