Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
