You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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