it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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