i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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