i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
