Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize