And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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