I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
