we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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