So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
