Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
