she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize