If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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