Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize