As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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