Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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