I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
