I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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