Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
