It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize